Tag Archives: Late-life issues

Savoring Good Experiences

positive experiences

Sharing positive experiences is like sharing a good meal, warms and strengthens friendships and family bonds. There are other benefits to savoring positive experiences. Even in the privacy of your own thoughts, reflecting on pleasant memories is an easy and effective way to increase your overall happiness.

Hard wired to focus on the negative

Have you noticed that even a small negative event can grab your attention repeatedly over the day? Positive events, by contrast, rarely come back to mind. That’s human. Our brains are hard wired to pay attention to threats.

Retraining our brains

As a family caregiver, you may find yourself focused on the things that aren’t going well. This zaps your energy. It also sets you up for depression, a common occurrence when caregiving. Fortunately, as humans we can retrain our brains to notice the positive for a more-balanced assessment of our days.

Try this exercise

  • Before bed, write down three good things that happened over the day. They don’t have to be big events. Just things that felt positive. Maybe a good conversation or a leisurely walk. Include as much detail as you can.
  • For each one, also write down “why” it was positive. Knowing what uplifts you tunes you into future opportunities for positive activities.
  • Take 30 seconds to relive or savor each memory. Close your eyes. Were there particular smells at the time? Sounds? Thoughts? Immerse yourself in the full memory of the event.
  • If possible, tell others about the event over the next few days. The recounting of it helps seal it in your awareness.

Why it works

Neurons that fire together wire together.” The more memory traces you create of positive experiences, the more adept your brain will become at recognizing the positives. You won’t lose your ability to identify threats. But you will form more-accurate assessments of your life and increase your overall sense of happiness.

Does the positive elude you?

If finding the positive experiences is difficult, it may be a sign that you could use some caregiving help. As the Orange County experts in family caregiving, we at Senior Life Managementunderstand that it’s a lot to shoulder. Give us a call at 949-716-1266. Let’s talk and see what we can do together to bring more positives to your day.

Late-life veterans’​ issues

late life issues

If the person you care for is a combat veteran, you may not have heard much about those experiences. You are not alone. In generations past, veterans made it a point to put the war behind them and “forget.” But things can take a dramatic turn in later life. As they face the challenges of serious illness, many vets start having symptoms that appear to be a delayed form of PTSD.

Common triggers

Physical pain, need for medication, or dependence on others can bring up old, traumatic memories. Dad may start to have nightmares or insomnia. Or you might notice an unexplained change in Mom’s temperament. Researchers believe this comes on because the stress of illness makes it too hard for the mind to continue suppressing the bad memories. For instance:

  • Trouble breathing from an illness such as COPD brings up past anxieties.
  • Pain can provoke memories of one’s own or another’s injuries.
  • Medications for pain or other conditions can cause fuzzy thinking. This in itself interferes with keeping combat memories at bay.

Moral and spiritual concerns

Sadly, combat veterans have seen the worst humanity has to offer. Your family member may have had to bury feelings about things he or she was called on to do in the line of duty. As the reality of “meeting one’s maker” draws closer, however, overpowering emotions of shame, guilt, and regret may arise.

What you can do

Veterans typically don’t like to talk about their wartime experiences. But they will talk with another vet. The Veterans Administration is aware of these late-life issues. They have counselling available for vets and for family members. In addition, hospice and palliative care programs often have a “We Honor Veterans” program. Their practitioners are specially trained to support the care needs of those who selflessly answered the call of duty.

Let us help.

At Senior Life Management we have deep respect for the contribution of our men and women in uniform. As the Orange County experts in family caregiving, we can guide you to resources that will help ease the invisible wounds your loved one carries from their service. Give us a call at 949-716-1266.